"I don’t mean you but young people these days are selfish and lazy."
How is this not about me when I’m young people and you’re staring me in the face?
I think I may have woke up too early this morning. Or perhaps I did not go to bed early enough. Or maybe I didn’t eat a good enough breakfast. Or maybe I’m just arrogant and I can’t think about others. There are millions of people in worse situations than I am, how dare I feel sad?
And now I really want an AU in with Jane Hathaway decides not to put up with Drysdale’s abuse and greed anymore and quits. She then moves in with the Clampets because she has no money anymore to live on, and reluctantly tells them exactly what sort of man Drysdale is. Then while she’s talking with Granny about how she’s probably going to have to move to another city and take a menial job, Granny suggests that she open her own bank, which she does. The Clampets become her first and largest depositor, and that is enough to get her plenty of other depositors. But instead of putting together ridiculous schemes to force them to stick around, when he decide to move she wishes them a fond farewell and hope that they will be happy for the rest of their days. The Clampets, not wanting or needing all of their millions, give everything to her and she doesn’t know until they’re gone. That’s what I want.
Last night I dreamt that I was told by police that a demon ghost was going to come after me, and they told me that my cellphone had been damaged beyond repair in a fire and so gave me this turtle phone thing so that I could call for help, but this turtle phone had no buttons. So I just dug out one of my old phones and charged it so that I could call 911 if need be. Well, my sister was also told that this ghost was going to come after her, but she wasn’t scared. She was going to go watch a horror movie at the theatre (which I think was supposed to summon the ghost but idk). Anyway, I ended up staying home with my old cellphone handy, and then somebody broke in and chased me around the house. It was clearly not a ghost but I thought it was. And then he caught me and it was the police chief, even though he had face that was not human. Buggy red eyes, gigantic, fanged mouth. Anyway, he told me that the ghost-demon was a ruse so that he wouldn’t get caught, and he was going to kill me, but I told him that I had already called 911. He laughed and said “that turtle doesn’t work!” and then I held up my old cellphone. He took it and smashed it, but I laughed and told him it wasn’t the only cellphone that I had hidden in my house and they were all calling 911, so even if he killed me everybody would know that he was the murderer.
And then I woke up.