AU. As Balder prepares for his wedding, Thor and Sif finally give in to their feelings for one another. But darkness lurks on the horizon as Loki and Sigyn attempt to deal with an unexpected revelation that will change them both forever, and Balder suffers from mysterious blackouts that threaten Asgard’s very existence. Coauthored by Marvel-Tolkien fangirl.
Updated every thursday!
A/N: This is a sequel to my story Fire and Ice, and is part of the Shadows and Regrets universe by Marvel-Tolkien Fangirl and I. I think that this story can be understood on its own, though. Just a few important things for newcomers. Laufey is not Loki’s father. Atum, known as the god slayer, is Loki’s father. Atum and Thor share a mother, Gaea the Elder Goddess, and so Thor and Loki are technically uncle and nephew. Loki is now living on Jotunheim. He married a half-Jotünn, half-fire demon named Angrboda, who is understood to be Laufey’s daughter, even though he wasn’t her sire. Due to the customs of the Jotünns, Angrboda is the king of Jotunheim and Loki is the queen. Loki and Thor have a younger brother named Balder, whom both adore. Loki was told while he was in his teenage equivalent that he one day would cause Balder’s death and he has been basically running from that prophecy ever since. Finally, in Fire and Ice Jane broke up with Thor because she wasn’t going to go through the emotional roller-coaster of having an absentee boyfriend. If you have any more questions, just ask me and I’ll answer the best I can. Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy!
Thor sat dejectedly in his room. It had been several weeks since Loki had taken up permanent residency on Jotunheim as it’s queen, and he wasn’t sure what to do now. Loki a queen! Jotunheim’s customs are strange… Yes, the Fire-Jotünn Angrboda seemed to be honourable, but he still didn’t want to trust his brother’s life to her hands! What else could he do though?
“If you were honest with yourself, god of thunder,” he told himself, “you would admit that you are fishing for excuses. You miss your brother!”
They had only just begun to repair their relationship, and Loki was gone again, and they would see each other but rarely. And there was nothing Thor could think of to distract himself; he could go to Midgard, see the Avengers, but his last visit there, finding Jane betrothed to another man… he knew it was best, for both of them, but it still hurt to think of. Truth be told, he was lonely.
“Thor?” Sif’s tentative voice was accompanied by a knock on his door.
He frowned. Ordinarily, she would knock, then walk straight in. One of the blessings of having known someone your whole life; there was no need for secrets. “Aren’t you coming in?”
She slipped inside quietly. He stared.
“Sif… my eyes must be deceiving me. You’re actually wearing a gown?”
She flushed, twitching the heavy black velvet skirt that surrounded her. “Queen Frigga insisted this once. I know, I look ridiculous with these frills and lace and ribbons.”
“You do not.” Thor smiled wryly. “You might want to remind Fandral that you’re always armed, in fact.”
Sif smirked, and then raised an eyebrow. “Are you wearing that?”
Thor racked his brains. “To what?”
“Thor, you’d forget your head if it were not attached to you! It’s Balder and Nanna’s betrothal feast, remember?”
He sat bolt upright. “That’s tonight?” He lurched into action, grabbing his best tunic and dashing into his bathing room to change.
Sif was barely holding back laughter. “Thor, it doesn’t start for two hours!”
He emerged, looking sheepish and confused. “Then why are you dressed for it already?”
She shrugged and sat on the edge of his bed. “I thought it best to grow accustomed to this attire and these ridiculous shoes now so I do not make a fool of myself later.”
“Well, it suits you, anyway,” Thor’s mouth said without consulting his brain. “I don’t see why you don’t wear gowns more often.”
Sif’s face reddened, but she smiled.
“What I mean, is you could have a dozen swords under that skirt and nobody would know.” He sat down beside her, sighing. “Balder betrothed… I can’t believe it.”
“Nor can I.” Sif agreed. “I still remember the celebration when he was born!”
“And you had no idea how to handle an infant back then.” Thor grinned, nudging her with his elbow.
She didn’t return the jibe, which was uncommon. Thor glanced at her. She was staring at her hands, which were twisting in her lap.
Nothing…” Her voice was wistful. “I’m just wondering… how do you think one should go about telling a friend you have feelings for them?”
Thor’s brows rose. “You have your eye on someone? I had no idea!” He fought the irrational stab of jealousy swirling in his gut. Who was he to argue if she found a lover? Just because she’d never shown interest in such things before didn’t mean that she didn’t think of men as a woman as well as a warrior. “My advice would be either tell or show him. People aren’t mind readers. It’s not Fandral, is it?”
“Fandral?” Sif rolled her eyes. “No!”
Her hand was resting lightly on his. He hadn’t even noticed. She took a deep breath… and put her hand on his face, cupping his chin gently. He stared at her, wide-eyed. The look in her eyes… his heart rate tripled. She couldn’t mean… Her hand was so soft, why had he never noticed before?
“I’m sorry,” she said, dropping her hand. “I thought that… Well, obviously I misinterpreted things between us. I should go.”
“Don’t. This is just… unexpected. I never realised…”
“You never have seen me as a woman.”
“That’s not true. I have tried to see you first and foremost as a warrior and comrade in arms… I thought that was how you wanted me to see you.”
“You big oaf.” She laughed, cupping his face again. “Can’t you see me as both?”
He covered her hand with his, leaning into the touch. She held her breath with anticipation. He leaned forward, tucking a stray dark curl behind her ear, keeping his eyes on hers, wanting to be sure he wasn’t misinterpreting this. His lips brushed hers. Her breath was sweet as she returned the kiss. He wrapped his arms around her slowly. Her hands slid into his flaxen hair, pulling him closer. His hands caressed her back, her silky hair, as she traced the muscles on his torso. He leant forward, so his weight encouraged her to lie back. The kiss deepened, and desire stirred in both of them now…
Later, they lay in each other’s arms, smiling at each other and talking softly. Both were utterly relaxed… Until the knock on the door sounded.
“Thor, are you ready yet?” Frigga’s voice came through the door. “The feast begins in ten minutes!”
The lovers both went crimson, Sif’s hand flying to her mouth. Thor swallowed hard.
“I’ll be out shortly, Mother!” He prayed Frigga didn’t notice anything strange in his voice… Sif buried her face in a pillow, smothering her giggles. He mock glared at her.
“Well, don’t take too long, everyone is waiting!” Frigga’s footsteps echoed as she walked away.
Thor and Sif exchanged looks before bursting out laughing. They got up quickly, still exchanging soft kisses while they dressed.
“Should we resume this… discussion after the feast?” Sif’s eyes sparkled.
He took her hand. “And every night after, if I have my way.”
She kissed him deeply before linking her arm through his as they left his bedchambers. As they strolled into the feasting hall, Balder walked towards them. His mouth was set grimly. He bowed to Sif, and then grabbed Thor’s arm.
“Come on, brother,” he said sternly.
Thor and Sif exchanged a confused look, but Thor went with Balder. The younger prince led the older back the way he had come, and then shoved him into a broom closet and shut the door.
“Balder, you can’t be late to your own betrothal feast-“
“You and Lady Sif,” Balder interrupted. “How long have you been involved?”
Thor froze. In the darkness of the closet he couldn’t see Balder’s face clearly, but his voice was angry. “How do you-“
“I went to your room earlier to see if I could borrow some of your cologne, and I heard the two of you yowling like cats! That is something that I didn’t need to hear! So tell me; how long have you been courting her?”
Thor sighed. “Two hours.”
“Two hours?” Balder exclaimed in disgust. “Two hours! Thor, what are you thinking?”
“We have known each other all our lives, and-“
“Do you love her?”
“Do you love her?”
“Why are you the one interrogating me?” Thor wondered aloud, his embarrassment turning to frustration. “Who I choose to be with is none of your concern-“
“Sif is my friend, too, Thor,” Balder said severely. “And she loves you. She has for a long time. And I won’t stand by and let you… use her as a convenient way to ease your heartbreak over Lady Jane if you have no true feelings for her.”
Thor shook his head, offended. “I care very deeply for Sif, I would never hurt her.”
Balder was silent for a moment. “And if she has a child from your encounter, are you willing to step up and accept responsibility to be a father?”
“A child?” Thor exclaimed. “Balder, you are thinking too much.”
“And you, not enough! Sex creates babies, Thor, I know you know because you were there when Mother explained it to me. Sif could very well be pregnant right now because of your… you know, what you two did, and if she is I will not have a brother who denies his responsibilities. Understood?”
If the situation hadn’t been so serious, Thor would have laughed at Balder giving him lectures. But it was a serious situation, and so he nodded. “Understood. I would not leave Sif to care for a child by herself.”
“Good. Now let’s get to the feast.”
They left the closet and walked together, but Balder’s expression was still troubled. “Thor?”
“Was it… Was it your first time?”
Thor wasn’t entirely certain how to answer. “Why do you ask?” he hedged, and then a thought occurred to him. “Have you and Nanna…?”
Balder hesitated and spread his hands. “Almost. But we decided not to. We weren’t ready. But how do you know when you are ready? Because sometimes it’s so hard to walk away… That’s why we try not to be alone together anymore right now. Because we both want to, but we also want to wait for the wedding night.”
“Well,” Thor said, somewhat awkwardly. “I… I am not certain how to answer that. If you want to wait for your wedding night, then wait.”
“Are you going to marry Sif?”
Thor opened his mouth and then closed it. “I haven’t thought about that,” he admitted.
“Thor, you’re an idiot,” Balder sighed, shaking his head. They were close to the banquet hall now, and Nanna was coming to meet them, looking radiant in a pale lavender gown.
“There you are! I’ve been looking for you,” she said, linking her arm with Balder’s.
“I just had to talk with Thor.”
“Just stuff. We’ll talk later, right Thor?”
Thor nodded under Balder’s intense look. Sif was seated with the warriors three, but Frigga and Odin quickly waved Thor over to join them. And the feasting began.
Sif was waiting for him in his quarters when the banquet was winding down and he took his leave. Thor smiled at the sight of her, lying in his bed dressed (not for long, a voice in his head whispered) only in a simple slip. She laughed at him in giddy anticipation as he sat down beside her. He leaned in to kiss her, but stopped.
“We need to talk, Sif,” he said, Balder’s words lying heavy on his mind.
“All right.” Sif propped herself up. “What’s wrong?”
Thor wanted to touch her, but held himself back. This was Sif, she deserved more than animal lust. “Balder heard us.”
Sif went crimson. “We’ll have to be a little more careful in the future, then. We don’t want the whole palace finding out!”
“Don’t we?” Thor cupped her face. “I will not treat you as though you are a shameful secret. We’ll tell my parents in the morning.”
A beautiful smile blossomed over Sif’s face, but then it fell into a troubled frown. “Thor-“
“Let me finish… Sif, if you have a child I swear I will be there for both of you.”
“Thor, I’m not going to get pregnant.”
“But if you do-“
Thor ‘s mind reeled. “What?”
Sif’s gaze dropped. “Remember when Karnilla took me to Nornheim when we were children? When I escaped, she cursed me. I never thought about why my monthly cycles stopped until… But I can’t have children. That’s why I never told you how I feel… Because you need to be able to produce an heir.”
“If this was done by a spell, it can be undone.” Thor’s face was determined.
Sif leaned into his hand still cupping her face, but her eyes were worried. “And if it cannot be changed?”
“Then I will have to choose one of my brother’s sons as my successor. I am not going to change my mind about you over that, Sif.” He kissed her warmly, trying to convey his sincerity in the embrace.
Sif smiled, resting her forehead against his. “I suppose it’s only a matter of time before Balder and Nanna have a child. But… don’t you want to be a father, Thor? Because there are options…”
Sif bit her lip. “You could… marry someone else.”
Thor’s brow furrowed.
“I could be your mistress-“
“No!” Thor shook his head emphatically. “Never. You deserve better treatment than that.”
Sif leaned against him. “Oh, Thor…” she sighed, and looked up at him. “Make love to me.”
When Sif woke the next morning in Thor’s arms, her immediate reaction was to elbow him in the throat. So she did. His eyes flew open and he started coughing. He rolled away from her, landing on the floor. Sif felt her face flush, and she quickly helped Thor back to the bed.
“I’m sorry… it’s just that I thought… I’m used to waking up alone.”
Thor waved it off. “I’m just glad I didn’t let you bring weapons to bed,” he choked out.
Sif laughed softly, putting her arms around his neck. “Well, that’s a matter of opinion…” She kissed his throat. “Feel better?”
“Much,” Thor replied, running his hands over her body. She shivered with delight. “How do you feel?”
“Euphoric.” She smiled, bending to brush her lips on his…
Someone knocked on the door.
“Thor?” Balder’s voice came through. “Father wants to see you. And you, too, Lady Sif.”
“Balder, get out of here!” Thor shouted, and there was a flurry of footsteps running away from the room. Thor flopped back. “Great, Father wants to see us…”
“Do you think he knows?”
Thor shrugged. “It would save us having to tell him, wouldn’t it?”
Sif turned away, her face flushing slightly but feeling like she was glowing inside. “You still mean to tell them?”
“Of course.” Thor glanced at the door and then smiled slyly. “Do you suppose Father will be terribly upset if we’re a little late?”
Sif responded by pushing him onto his back, straddling him, passionately kissed him. Thor chuckled, clasping his large hands on her hips, pulling her tightly against him. She wound her fingers into his hair, pulling his head up…
“Father, really, I don’t think-“
Balder’s panicked voice came seconds before the door flew open and Odin stormed into Thor’s quarters. Sif shrieked in a manner most unlike her. Thor pushed her off himself, pulling the blankets up in an effort to cover them both. Odin yanked the curtains surrounding Thor’s bed apart. His single eye was narrowed in anger.
“Thor, summons from your king are not something to take lightly. Get dressed now! And come to the throne room!”
Sif held the blankets up to her neck, an irrational hope that maybe Odin hadn’t seen her yet… No such luck. As Thor went red and mumbled lame excuses, Odin’s eye turned on her. Her face felt like it was on fire.
“Lady Sif, I expected more courtesy from you.”
“I apologise, my lord,” she squeaked.
“We were going to tell you this morning,” Thor said. “Sif and I are lovers now.”
Sif groaned. As if that wasn’t completely obvious… Odin shook his head and walked away. Sif caught a brief glimpse of Balder before he shut the door. She turned to Thor with a blush that would shame a tomato, and rose on one elbow.
“How did he know?”
“Maybe Heimdall told him.”
Sif flushed even deeper red. “I really needed to think that my brother was watching us, Thor.”
Thor shrugged. “Well, I don’t know! Come on, we’d better get going before he barges in here again…”
Sif grimaced and nodded. They dressed hastily, Sif also dragging a brush through her hair. She splashed water onto her face, trying and failing to get rid of the blush staining her fair skin.
“Well, we had best just get this over with,” Sif muttered, reaching her hand out to Thor.
He took it and twined his fingers through hers. “Yes, we had.”